I'm done with being in a band. For now.
This is not a rash decision. I've been talking about leaving the band for well over a year now and going back and forth on what I actually want to do (or not do). I'm just bored and tired of the whole thing.
Everything involved with being in DCD has become all about obligations and expectations, both from within the band and people who like what we're doing and I've become alternately overwhelmed and annoyed more and more frequently as time goes on. It's just not fun anymore.
If Dead City Dealers goes on, it's gonna have to be without me. I'd still like to work with everyone in the band musically, but it's gonna have to be on a much more relaxed and non-serious manner. I know a lot of people have dreams and goals as far as what they're doing muscially, but that's just not me and it probably never will be.
I only want to play shows and write and record songs when it's convenient for me. Maybe that's selfish, but I can't force it. If I'm not happy with what I'm doing and just putting on a happy face, then that's bullshit. It's fake. I can't be fake. I have to be me. No matter what. I can't schedule my free time or take on responsibilities for other people anymore.
All I wanted from the beginning was to effortlessly write songs that were fun and simple. Songs that I would enjoy listening to if I weren't in the band. Not that that's not what we ended up with in DCD, but it always seems like there's this push to go outside of the realm of what I'm comfortable doing musically, effort-wise and time-wise, and how far I would want the band to go (which isn't very far at all, actually).
This is probably gonna read as being a little melodramatic, but that's really not what I'm trying to do. I'm just stating facts. And like I said before, this decision wasn't made lightly. Point blank: I just need a break.
--Sam
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